Remembering A Friend And Collegue

Today was the 5k run in memory of Andrew "AJ" Johnson. My brother-in-law went and did the run and said he had a good time. I have found myself remembering AJ today. I remember the last time we ran a call together and the banter back and forth once I got back. He always had a good sense of humor. He was probably the nicest and most helpful guy I had met in a long time. You always knew where you stood with him. I remember AJ walking into the local FD after a call and he asked me "Who's the new guy?" I could tell by his tone that he was not impressed. We talked a little while and then of course I had to go. Had I known then that would be the last time we would speak I would have told him how much I appreciate what he does not only for me on scene but for his community.

Its been a little over 6 months since his accident and the emotion of losing a co-worker is still very strong. I've been told that the more collegues you bury, the easier it gets and I just don't see how. Frankly I don't want to attend one more funeral of a collegue. Its still hard to go into the firehouse for me. His picture is still taped to the door. It was placed there when AJ was in the hospital while we sat helpless and praying for a good outcome. I didn't have the heart to say what I knew deep down, he wasn't going to make it but if he did, the AJ we knew would be gone. Instead I cried with the firefighters, brought some food and left myself available for anything day or night. His turnout gear is in a memorial box in their training room. I was able to read the plaques inside only once. I barely made it through that without totally breaking down. I still get teary eyed going in there but I have my memories and that will just have to be good enough. We never know what the master plan will be, but I NEVER thought it would have involved the loss of a quality person.

Too often we criticize how our FD and first responders are on scene and it has created a HUGE divide between some departments. Its not right and we all can do better. I decided after AJ had passed on, that I would try my hardest to teach the first responders that I see how to help out in a better way or how to do more. I spent about 30 minutes or so about a month ago, showing some newbies how to spike a bag, general layout of an ambulance, our splinting equipment location and the like. I feel that its my responsibility to educate them on what to do to be the most effective instead of complaining how its not right. AJ was very passionate about teaching the new guys and so in his memory I am going to do the same.